Many newborn babies have skin conditions. Some are born with birthmarks. Some get rashes in their first few months of life. Most bumps and spots on a baby’s skin are harmless and usually clear up on their own.

It’s important to know which rashes and birthmarks are common. This will help you spot an uncommon condition that should be seen by your doctor.

Path to improved health

Many babies develop rashes soon after birth. Most of these are common and can be treated at home.

Common newborn rashes

Baby acne

• Appearance: White or red pimples on your baby’s cheeks, nose, chin, or forehead
• Cause: Exposure to maternal hormones in the womb
• Home care: No treatment necessary. It should clear up within a few weeks or months.

Milia

• Appearance: Tiny white bumps on the nose or face
• Cause: Blocked oil glands
• Home care: No treatment needed. Oil glands will open and bumps will disappear in a few days or weeks.

Diaper rash

• Appearance: Red and sore skin on your baby’s bottom or genitals
• Cause: Usually prolonged exposure to a wet or dirty diaper
• Home care: Let your baby’s bottom dry out between diaper changes. Apply diaper rash cream or ointment at every diaper change. Change diapers frequently. Avoid using cornstarch or other powders. Babies can inhale them and hurt their lungs. 

Yeast diaper rash

• Appearance: Bright red diaper rash, often with smaller red bumps or spots around the edges. Doesn’t go away with 2 to 3 days typical diaper rash home care
• Cause: Fungal infection that grows in moist, dark areas
• Home care: None. This needs to be seen by a doctor. It’s usually treated with medicine.

Heat rash (prickly heat)

• Appearance: Small pink or red spots on your baby’s skin. It is usually found in areas that overheat and sweat, such as neck, armpits, and diaper area.
• Cause: Overheating due to being overdressed or during hot weather
• Home care: Move your baby to a cooler place or remove layers of clothing. You can give your baby a cool bath. Dress your baby in loose-fitting clothes.

Erythema toxicum

• Appearance: Flat, red splotches without defined borders. They may have small white or yellow dots in the center. These rarely appear after a baby is 5 days old.
• Cause: Unknown, but it appears in up to half of babies
• Home care: No treatment needed. Splotches usually disappear in a few days or weeks.

Cradle cap

• Appearance: Thick, yellow, crusty, scaly, or greasy patches on the top of your baby’s head
• Cause: Normal buildup of oil, scales, and dead skin cells
• Home care: Wash your baby’s hair with mild baby shampoo. Loosen scales with a soft-bristled brush. For stubborn scales, rub mineral oil into your baby’s scalp, wait a few minutes, then brush and shampoo the hair.

Eczema

• Appearance: Red patches of dry, scaly, and itchy skin
• Cause: Dry, sensitive skin. It’s often associated with allergies.
• Home care: Use gentle soap and skin moisturizers on your baby. Avoid fabric softeners when washing clothes. Give your baby short, warm baths only every 2 to 3 days to avoid drying out skin.

Common newborn birthmarks

Birthmarks are unusual marks on the skin. They’re common in babies. They’re usually harmless and some fade or disappear over time.

Salmon patches (also called “stork bites” or “angel kisses”)

These are mainly found on the back of the neck or between the eyebrows. They’re a collection of blood vessels. Many fade over a few months. Sometimes, especially on the back of the neck, they may never go away completely.

Mongolian spots

These smooth, flat, blue-gray marks tend to appear on the lower back or buttocks. They’re collections of pigment that didn’t make it to the top layer of the skin. They usually fade by school age but may never disappear completely. They’re common in dark-skinned babies.

Café-au-lait spots

These flat, brown marks appear in oval shapes. They could get bigger or darker. Your baby may get more as they grow up.

Port-wine stains

These marks are formed by blood vessels that didn’t develop properly. They are pink or red at birth but grow into a darker red-purple color. They can be large. Lighter ones may fade. Others could grow bigger, thicker, and darker.

Hemangiomas

These raised birthmarks are formed by a clump of blood vessels. They vary in size and shape. They often appear blue, red, or purple. Most grow for about a year, then gradually shrink and fade.

What about jaundice?

Jaundice is not a rash, but it’s noticeable through the skin. Newborns with jaundice have a yellow tint to their skin and in the whites of their eyes. It usually goes away a few days after birth. It can cause health problems if it gets bad enough. If your newborn looks yellow, call your doctor right away. Treatment for jaundice involves laying the baby under a special light for a number of hours or days. Babies with severe jaundice may need to receive treatment in a hospital.

Things to consider

Most newborn rashes are harmless and go away by themselves. But sometimes a rash is a symptom of an infection. These can be dangerous to a newborn baby. Call your doctor if you notice any of the following signs or symptoms in your infant.

• Any rash along with other symptoms, such as fever, lethargy, cough, excessive fussiness, or poor feeding
• Increased pain, swelling, or warmth in the area of the rash
• Red streaks extending from an area of the rash
• Swollen lymph nodes in the neck, armpit, or groin
• Fluid-filled blisters (especially yellow, opaque fluid)
• Pinpoint red or purplish dots (called “petechiae”) all over the body that don’t lighten with pressure

Questions to ask your doctor

• Is my baby’s rash normal?
• Is there anything I can do to treat the rash?
• How long will the rash last?
• What can I do to keep my baby from getting this rash again?
• Are there any complications from this rash that I should look out for?
• Why does my baby have a birthmark?
• If I have a birthmark, will my baby have the same kind in the same place?

Resources

National Institutes of Health, MedlinePlus: Birthmarks

National Institutes of Health, MedlinePlus: Rash – Child Under 2 Years

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Children go through many milestones as they grow. One of the biggest—for them and for you—is learning to use the toilet. Parents often have questions about when and how to toilet train (potty train) their child. Here are some answers.

Path to improved well being

When should I start toilet training my child?

Do not start toilet training until both you and your child are ready. You are ready when you are able to devote the time and energy necessary to encourage your child on a daily basis. Your child will start showing signs that they are ready when they:

• Signal that their diaper is wet or soiled
• Seem interested in the potty chair or toilet
• Go to another spot or room to urinate or have a bowel movement
• Show interest in wearing underwear instead of a diaper
• Feel uncomfortable if their diaper is wet or soiled
• Stay dry for periods of 2 hours or longer during the day
• Wake up from naps with a dry diaper
• Can pull their pants down and then up again
• Understand and follow basic instructions

You may start noticing these signs when your child is 18 to 24 months of age. However, it is not uncommon for a child to still be in diapers at 2½ to 3 years of age.

How do I prepare my child for toilet training?

The first thing you can do is to allow your child to go with you when you use the toilet. Make them feel comfortable in the bathroom. Allow them to see urine and bowel movements in the toilet. Talk to them about what is happening. Use simple words like “pee” and “poop.”

Next, buy a training potty seat or a potty chair. You may want more than one if you have multiple bathrooms your child will be using. You also may want to get one of each so your child can choose which kind to use.

Finally, introduce your child to the potty chair.

• Place a potty chair in your child’s normal living and play area so that they will become familiar with it. Consider placing a potty chair on each floor of the house if you live in a multilevel home. Allow your child to observe, touch, and become used to the potty chair.
• Tell your child that the potty chair is their own chair. Allow them to sit fully clothed on the potty chair, as if it were a regular chair. Allow them to leave the potty chair at any time. Do not force your child to spend time sitting on the chair.
• Once your child is used to the potty chair, try having them sit on the potty without wearing pants or a diaper. Let them become comfortable with sitting on the potty this way.
• Show your child how the potty chair is used. Place stool (poop) from a dirty diaper into the potty chair. Allow your child to observe the transfer of the bowel movement from the potty chair into the toilet. Let your child flush the toilet and watch the bowel movement disappear.

How do I teach my child to use the toilet?

After your child has become comfortable with flushing the toilet and sitting on the potty chair, you may begin teaching your child to go to the bathroom. Try these tips as you teach them.

• Keep your child in loose, easily removable pants. This makes it more convenient for you, and faster when you’re in a hurry to get your child on the potty.
• Place your child on the potty chair whenever they signal the need to go to the bathroom. Their facial expression may change when they feel the need to urinate or to have a bowel movement. They may stop any activity they are engaged in when they feel the need to go.
• Take note of your child’s bathroom schedule. Most children have a bowel movement once a day, usually within an hour after eating. Most children urinate within an hour after having a large drink. Use these times to watch for signals that your child needs to urinate or have a bowel movement. In addition, place your child on the potty at regular intervals. This may be as often as every 1½ to 2 hours.
• Stay with your child when they are on the potty chair. Reading or talking to them when they are sitting on the potty may help them relax.
• Praise your child when they go to the bathroom in the potty chair. Do not express disappointment or anger if they don’t. Be patient with your child.
• Teach your child to wash their hands every time after using their potty chair.
• Teach girls to wipe from front to back. This keeps bacteria from the rectum from entering the vagina.
• Teach boys to urinate sitting down first. As they get more control over their bladder, you can move to going while standing up. To teach them aim, some parents put ringed cereal in the toilet to serve as targets for the urine stream.

How long will it take to toilet train my child?

Every child is different. It may take as long as 3 to 6 months for your child to be toilet trained during daytime. It may take longer to teach your child to use the toilet during nighttime when they have less control over their bladder. It is important for you to be patient and supportive. If after a few months, your child is still resisting or having difficulties with toilet training, talk to your family doctor. The most likely reason your child has not learned to use the potty is that they are just not ready.

Things to consider

What if my child has an accident?

Accidents come with toilet training. Your child may have an occasional accident even after they learn how to use the toilet. Sometimes, children get too involved in activities and forget that they need to use the bathroom. Suggesting regular trips to the bathroom may help prevent some accidents.

If your child does have an accident, stay calm. Do not punish your child. Simply change them and continue to encourage them to use the potty chair.

What about training pants?

Some doctors disagree about whether to use disposable training pants. Some think that training pants may confuse children and make them think it is okay to use them like diapers. This may slow the toilet training process. Others think training pants may be a helpful step when you are training your child. Sometimes, training pants are used at nighttime, when it is more difficult for a child to control their bladder.

Should I reward my child for using the potty?

Experts disagree about whether you should use rewards in toilet training. Some kids respond well to incentives. Stickers on a chart or extra stories at bedtime might be just the thing to get them to use the potty and make your job easier. But some people think keeping toilet training matter-of-fact and not rewarding it is a healthier approach. Ask your doctor about the pros and cons of rewarding your child for using the potty.

When should I not try toilet training?

Sometimes things get in the way of toilet training. Don’t start toilet training during times of stress or change. These could include:

• An upcoming or recent move
• The arrival of a new sibling
• A change in childcare
• Switching from a crib to a bed
• A death, major illness, or other disruption in normal family life

In addition, if you’ve tried toilet training for several weeks and your child isn’t getting it, take a break. They probably just aren’t ready. Stick with diapers for another month or two, and then try again.

Questions to ask your doctor

• What if my child won’t sit on the potty?
• Potty time has turned into a power struggle. What do I do?
• How long will it take to potty train my child?
• How long will they need to wear diapers or training pants at night?
• My child was doing well with toilet training, but now has started having a lot of accidents. What’s wrong?
• My child is 4 and isn’t toilet trained. What should I do?

Resources

National Institutes of Health, MedlinePlus: Toilet training tips

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Breast milk is the perfect food for your baby. Many health organizations, including the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), recommend that mothers breastfeed their newborn babies. If possible, babies should get only breast milk for the first 6 months of their lives. Mothers can continue to breastfeed until 12 months, or longer if able and willing.

Deciding whether to breastfeed is a very personal decision. It is based on lifestyle, desire, and health of the mother and baby. You may plan to breastfeed but not be able to once you try. Or it may be too stressful. Talk to your doctor or a breastfeeding expert about the pros and cons of breastfeeding. You may want to have this conversation before giving birth so that you are prepared.

If you are unable to breastfeed or choose not to, it is okay. You can still develop a close bond with your baby. The most important thing is that your baby is fed, whether that is with breast milk, formula, or both.

Path to improved health

There are several advantages to breastfeeding. Breast milk naturally contains the nutrition your baby needs. As your baby grows, the nutrients in your breast milk change. This fulfills your baby’s changing nutritional needs. Breast milk is easier to digest than formula. It also is full of antibodies that help protect your baby from infections.

Breastfed babies may be less likely to have:

• Ear, urinary, or respiratory tract infections
• Skin problems
• Tooth decay and infections in the mouth
• Diarrhea, constipation, and gas
• Intestinal diseases
• Asthma
• Allergies
• Diabetes
• Obesity
• Childhood cancers, such as leukemia and lymphoma
• Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
• Anemia (low blood iron)
• Heart attack and stroke in adulthood

Breastfeeding can benefit you as well as your baby. It helps your uterus shrink to the size it was before pregnancy. It can also help you lose some of your pregnancy weight. This is because your body burns calories to produce breast milk. Your periods won’t return for several months while breastfeeding. However, breastfeeding is not a form of birth control.

In addition, mothers who breastfeed may be less likely to have:

• Type 2 diabetes
• Breast cancer
• Ovarian cancer
• Anemia (low blood iron)
• Post-partum depression
• Osteoporosis (weak bones)

Other benefits of breastfeeding include:

• Mother-baby bond. Breastfeeding provides time to interact with your baby one-on-one. The physical contact comforts both of you and makes your baby feel more secure.
• No waiting when your baby is hungry. You don’t have to mix formula or clean and sterilize bottles and nipples.
• Less expense. Breast milk is free. There are only a few things you may need to buy. These include nursing bras, nursing pads, and a breast pump if you plan to pump milk to give to your baby.
• Environmental benefits. You won’t have formula cans or bottle liners to throw away. You’ll also use less water and energy washing bottles.

Things to consider

What are the challenges of breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding, especially when done exclusively, takes a lot of time. It is a big commitment for mothers to make. You are the only person who can feed your baby. Some women have a hard time breastfeeding, especially in the beginning. It may be painful and stressful. Consider getting help from a lactation specialist.

Women who breastfeed also need to watch their diet. Your body requires more calories to produce enough milk. Anything you eat and drink can be passed to your baby through breast milk. You should limit caffeine to less than 300 milligrams a day. You should avoid alcohol or be careful when consuming it. Wait at least 2 hours after one alcoholic drink before breastfeeding. Or you can pump milk, using a breast pump, and throw it away to prevent passing alcohol to your baby. Certain foods also can affect your baby, such as spicy food or dairy products. You should not eat fish that are high in mercury.

What about supplementing breast milk with formula?

Talk to your doctor or another breastfeeding expert before you start supplementing. Adding formula to your baby’s diet can decrease your breast milk production. Your baby may start to prefer a bottle, and not latch on to your breasts.

Can I use a breast pump instead of breastfeeding?

If you prefer, you can use a breast pump to get your breast milk. Then, you can store it and feed it to your baby from a bottle. This may be useful if you work, have a busy schedule, or need help with feedings.

I need to go back to work. Can I still breastfeed my baby?

Yes. If possible, try to find a caregiver who is close to your workplace. This may allow you to visit your baby at least once during the day to breastfeed. You also can pump and store your breast milk while at work. You can buy or rent an electric or hand-operated breast pump. Then, the caregiver can feed your baby bottles of your breast milk.

If you decide to do this, try to plan ahead. Talk to your employer about the time you’ll need each day to visit your baby and/or pump. If you plan to pump, you will need a private room that has electricity (for an electric pump).

Questions to ask your doctor

• What are the benefits of breastfeeding?
• What are the risks of breastfeeding?
• How do I know if I can medically breastfeed my baby?
• What are the signs that my baby will not breastfeed?
• How do I learn how to breastfeed?
• Can you provide tips on how to get started?
• How long should I breastfeed?
• When should I start giving my baby formula or other foods?

Resources

American Academy of Family Physicians: Breastfeeding: Hints to Help You Get Off to a Good Start

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Good nutrition is one of the keys to a healthy life. This is the case for adults and for children, even babies and toddlers. Eating healthy food helps children get the nutrients their bodies need to stay healthy, active, and strong. Children develop their eating patterns early in life. These early years are an opportunity for you to teach them healthy habits that will stay with them as they get older.

Path to improved health

Children’s eating habits start when they’re young, even as young as infancy. It’s important for parents to encourage healthy eating from the start. Here are some ways you can help your child be a healthy eater.

Infants

For much of infancy, the most important thing your baby needs is breast milk or formula. They provide nearly every nutrient your baby needs during his or her first year of life. The AAFP recommends that almost all babies should be breastfed or receive human milk exclusively for approximately six months.

• If possible, breastfeed your baby for at least 6 months.
• Try to wait until your baby is 6 months old to start solid foods. Choose healthy foods like pureed vegetables, jarred baby foods, and infant cereals.
• If your baby has eczema or egg allergy, introducing foods containing eggs and peanuts as early as 4 to 6 months can help prevent food allergies later on. Talk with your doctor before introducing foods with eggs or peanuts.
• When your baby is 8 or 9 months old, you can start offering small pieces of healthy finger foods. These could include grilled chicken, cooked carrots, or cut up fresh fruit.
• The best drinks for your baby are breast milk, formula, and water. Don’t be tempted to give your older baby (older than 6 months) juice, soft drinks, and sports drinks. These add extra calories and sugar that your baby doesn’t need. Only put breast milk or formula in your baby’s bottle.

Toddlers and preschoolers

Toddlers grow in spurts. Their appetites tend to come and go in spurts, too. They may eat a lot one day and hardly anything the next day. This is normal. Just continue to offer them a healthy selection of foods every day, and they should get the nutrients they need.

• Provide healthy snacks for your toddler throughout the day. Offer them small cubes of cheese, cut up fruit, low-fat yogurt, or whole grain crackers.
• Let your toddler choose between a few healthy food options. They will be more likely to eat something they’ve chosen themselves.
• Be patient with a picky eater. Sometimes toddlers need to try a food 10 to 15 times before they’ll eat it. Don’t give up on a healthy food after only a few tries.
• Let your child help you prepare their food. They’ll be more likely to try healthy foods if they’ve helped make them.
• Keep your fridge and pantry stocked with healthy foods and snacks. These could include string cheese, sliced apples, baby carrots, and peanut butter. Even if you’re in a hurry, you’ll still have plenty of healthy options to choose from.
• The best drinks for your toddler or preschooler are milk and water. Juice, soft drinks, and sports drinks add calories and sugar that young children don’t need.

Grade-schoolers

Once your child goes to school, you may have less control over what he or she eats during the day. But there are still things you can do to help your child eat a healthy diet.

• Pack your child’s lunch every day so you can control what they eat.
• If your child buys lunch, go over the menu with them and talk about what you expect your child to eat. Encourage healthy choices.
• Continue to offer healthy snacks when your child gets home from school. Prepare balanced, healthy breakfasts and dinners.
• Remember your child learns by watching you. If you eat healthy, your child is more likely to make similar choices.

Things to consider

Good nutrition at an early age is not just about food choices. It’s also about helping your child form healthy habits around food. Here are some other ways you can help your child become a healthy eater.

• Don’t force your young child to eat. Children need to learn how to listen to their bodies so they can stop eating when they’re full. Forcing a child to eat usually results in him or her eating less overall.
• Skip the food reward. When you use food as a reward or to show affection, your child could start using food to cope with their emotions. Instead, give them hugs, praise, attention, or time together.
• Turn off screens during mealtimes. Don’t let your child watch TV when he or she eats. It encourages mindless eating, and your child may miss natural body cues signaling they are full.
• Make meals times about more than food. Use them as an opportunity to build strong family relationships. Talk with your child while you eat, and don’t let them eat alone.

Questions to ask your doctor

• How long should my infant eat only breast milk or formula?
• When should I introduce cereal to my baby?
• Can I give my baby fruits or vegetables before giving them cereal?
• What can I do to prevent food allergies in infants?
• What are good table foods I can give my infant?
• My toddler is a picky eater. What can I do to help them eat more foods?
• How can I help my child eat better at school?
• Where can I get ideas for healthy lunches to pack for my child?

Resources

American Academy of Family Physicians: School Lunches: Helping Your Child Make Healthy Choices

American Academy of Family Physicians: Nutrition Tips for Kids

U.S. Department of Agriculture: MyPlate

Baby’s First: You Can Reduce the Risk of Food Allergies for Your Baby

Prevent Peanut Allergies: Introducing Peanut Foods to Your Baby Early

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If your baby was born with a congenital heart defect, you’re probably experiencing a lot of feelings. It’s normal to feel angry, guilty, scared, sad, or depressed. Knowing your baby has a heart problem is stressful. When you first found out about your baby’s problem, you may have suffered shock.

You probably have many questions about how to care for your baby. In many ways, you will care for your baby the same as if they were born without a heart defect. Don’t be afraid to pick up and hold them. Your baby needs your love and attention. Play with your baby. Talk with your baby. These things are important for both of you. But there are a few things to pay special attention to, including your own health.

Path to improved health

Feeding your baby

Breastfeeding a baby who has heart disease can be more challenging because they get tired so quickly. But breast milk is the best food for your baby. It helps protect them from infections. An infection could make your baby’s heart problem worse. If you’re having trouble breastfeeding, talk with your doctor. Your doctor may suggest that you see a lactation specialist.

Your doctor also may recommend you give your baby formula. You may need a special kind that has extra calories. This can help your baby gain weight. Your doctor, a pediatric nutritionist, or dietician can help you choose a good formula.

Babies who have heart disease tend to get tired easily while they’re feeding. If feeding makes your baby tired, try giving smaller amounts of breast milk or formula at one time. But feed your baby more often. Burp them often, too. Babies who have trouble feeding tend to take in a lot of air. This can make them feel full before they’ve taken in enough milk or formula.

Don’t wait until your baby cries to feed them. Crying can tire your baby out. They won’t have enough energy left to eat well. Look for cues that your baby is hungry. These could include making sucking motions, sucking on a fist, or fidgeting.

Your baby may need more food because a heart defect makes the heart work harder. This makes your baby burn more calories—just like you burn more calories when you exercise. For this reason, your baby may need more food to grow.

Things to consider

Babies with heart defects can become more sick than other babies. It can be hard for them to fight off infections which can make them sick. When they do get an infection, they could get so sick they have to go to the hospital. That’s why it’s important to take extra precautions to keep your baby healthy.

Make sure everyone your baby is around gets a flu shot. Encourage friends and family to get a Tdap shot if they need it to prevent whooping cough. Be sure that your baby gets all recommended vaccines, as well. Don’t take your baby to crowded places where germs are easily spread. Wash your hands frequently, and make sure that anyone who has contact with your baby does the same.

Caring for a baby or child with a heart problem can be emotional and stressful. Information and support can help you feel better. Connect with parents of other children with a heart problem. They can understand what you’re going through and share coping skills. And you can talk about your fears. This can be very reassuring.

Talk to a counselor if you’re having trouble coping. They can help you reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Also talk with your doctor or a hospital social worker to find out about care options. Some groups offer respite care, day care programs, or help at home services. Any of these can help you cope when you’re caring for a sick baby.

Questions to ask your doctor

• Are there special things I need to do to care for my baby?
• Are there things I shouldn’t do while caring for my baby?
• Will my baby have trouble eating?
• What should I do if my baby isn’t gaining weight?
• I’m feeling overwhelmed. Where can I go for help?
• What is respite care?
• Could I receive home help services to help me with my baby?

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Imagine how frustrated you would feel if you didn’t have the skills to express yourself or be independent. That’s how a toddler feels just before the start of a temper tantrum. Temper tantrums are common in young children between the ages of 1 and 3 years. Parents often refer to the “terrible 2’s.” However, the tantrum stage can stretch to age 4. Being hungry and tired also can trigger a temper tantrum. This can include crying, stomping, screaming, hitting, kicking, or any combination of these. Both boys and girls have temper tantrums.

Path to improved well being

When your child is in the middle of a temper tantrum, it’s hard to gain the upper hand. When the tantrum occurs in public, it’s even harder. The key is avoiding a temper tantrum before it begins. The good news is that there are a many tips for preventing a tantrum:

• Plan ahead: Tell your child in advance if you’re planning to go to the store, a doctor’s appointment, or change their regular routine. They may not enjoy the change, but it will help prepare them for what’s to come.
• Communicate your expectations: Tell them how you expect them to behave when you get to your destination. If you’re going to the store, for example, explain (in their terms) what you plan to buy and that you’ll then leave to go home or to the next stop. If it helps, invite them to bring a toy from home to play with on the trip to and from the store.
• Praise your child for good behavior: Parents sometimes have a habit of telling their children what they do wrong. Turn it around and praise them every time they do the right thing without you asking. For example, if your child doesn’t touch things in the store, tell them, “I noticed you kept your hands to yourself in the store. Good job!”
• Let your child have some independence: There are plenty of times your child can be in control. Let your child dress him or herself when you’re staying home, and their selection doesn’t matter. Let them choose the cup they want to use at dinner, or the color of the crayon they want to use to color a picture. Choose your battles. As long as your child is safe and there are no serious consequences to their decision, then you’ve boosted their confidence.
• Redirect: Again, planning ahead is important. If you spot an unplanned situation that you know will upset your child, redirect their attention. For example, if you know your child will want to pet a strange dog you see coming down the sidewalk, take a different path, stop and pick a flower, cross the street, be silly, or sing a song.
• Anticipate your child’s limitations: Know what your child can and cannot tolerate. For example, if you know your child isn’t his or her best for an afternoon play date (especially when they’re tired), move the play date to the morning.
• Don’t let hunger get out of control: Like adults, many children get fussy when they are hungry. Plan for mealtimes (by being home or at a restaurant), and always carry snacks for the unexpected. When planning to eat out, remember to factor in the time it takes to wait for your food. A light snack is good for those times, as well.
• Plan for yourself: Remember, you won’t be at your best either if you are tired or hungry. If you are not at your best, then pick another time to run an errand if you can.

Things to consider

• Acting out in public: This is every parent’s nightmare because your child has an audience. All parents feel embarrassed when this happens. However, it is not a sign of bad parenting, but rather of a frustrated child. Plan for outings in public. Have a quick exit strategy ready for restaurants, stores, church, and other public places. When you’re at home or in the car, ignore your child’s tantrum if you can. Eventually, they will run out of steam. Never give in or bribe them to stop. And don’t engage in an argument. In fact, it’s best to turn your body away from them (while still maintaining their safety) to let them know you will not argue.
• Dangerous situations: Don’t ignore your child’s temper tantrum if it puts them in harm’s way. Acting out near a busy street, a parking lot, or harming themselves or others is considered dangerous. In those instances, pick your toddler up immediately and remove him or her from that danger.
• Timeouts: A timeout isn’t designed to be a harsh punishment. It’s a time for your child to regain his or her self-control. It’s a time for them to calm their temper and their body. Choose a safe, quiet space in your home for timeouts. It’s best to choose an area you can monitor. The recommended amount of time your child sits in time out should be one minute for every year of their age. For example, a 3-year-old should sit in time out for no more than three minutes. Don’t engage your child in conversation or activities during a timeout.
• Own up: Sometimes parents make mistakes. We may have made an honest mistake or been insensitive. When you are truly at fault, apologize to your child to avoid a tantrum or reduce the intensity.
• Your child’s general health: If you are concerned about your child’s tantrums, have your doctor check his or her hearing, vision, general health, language milestones, and learning abilities to see if there is another explanation for the tantrums.
• Don’t ignore your feelings: If you feel out of control, have negative feelings toward your child, or don’t see improvements in your child’s behavior, talk with your doctor.

Questions to ask your doctor

• How do you know if your child is having a tantrum because he or she is in pain?
• How can you distinguish between a tantrum and a developmental problem?
• Is it okay to let your child scream if they are in a safe space?
• How many is too many temper tantrums?
• Do the tantrum years last longer in children with special needs? If so, how do you handle a tantrum in an older child with special needs?

Resources

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Positive Parenting Tips

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